Life with kids is hard. It's inconvenient, loud, restless, busy, messy, and unpredictable. But the first piece of advice my Momma gave me after our twins were born was not to define each day by the hard. Hard was going to be a given, there was no way around that. There would have to be some other criteria to measure the days by. This one piece of advice alone would define my perspective of being a stay at home Mom for the next 7 years. And what a beautiful 7 years it's been!
Today Colin and Shire start first grade and Mason begins kindergarten. All will be gone for the first time all day Monday through Friday, and I don't mean to redirect the attention to myself, (yes I do), but this day will change my life. Not in a tragic way, horrible way, but redefining nonetheless.
Everything I said about having kids at the beginning is a bit amplified with multiples. This isn't to say it's harder than having children one at a time; none of my friends have multiples and their struggles are unique and foreign to me. I don't really know how else to describe it other than that it's intensified but concentrated to a shorter amount of time. We've just barreled from one stage to another all together!
This time with them has been intense, yes. Intensely good. Intensely blessed. Intensely fun.
7 years ago I practically became a new person since becoming a mother was such a defining part of my identity, (even despite my best efforts to resist and remain the same exact person I'd always been - I think the Lord must have had a good chuckle on my behalf). In fact, it happened so quickly that after the twins were born and had to stay in the NICU for several weeks while I was released to go home, I broke down while grocery shopping alone; I had babies but they weren't with me and nothing made sense. Being out and about in the world doing a mundane chore like grocery shopping just felt horribly wrong by myself, even though that had been a completely normal thing such a short time prior.
I'm feeling that same crisis welling up again; I'm a mother but my babes will not be with me day in and day out anymore. Thankfully they aren't in the NICU like last time, but I'm alone nonetheless; the weight of responsibility to care for them has been lifted from my arms between the hours of 8:40-3:40. What does one do when they're used to carrying such aweight and it's gone just like that? What fills the space?
As fast as my hands were full, they're empty again.
I spent much of this summer decluttering. Not our house - goodness, I need to hire a professional for that! But life in general. I stepped back from a lot of things that would make me unavailable to the kids. I still worked within StyleMutt Home, but the work was focused solely on what was important. As my Dad always says, 'work smart, not hard'; the two are not the same, and it's taken me some time to figure out how that concept looks for me personally. I started a small business when our Mason was born partly to help pay for the highly concentrated expenses that come with having kids this close in age, but also to have something that had nothing to do with motherhood; to have something that connected me with the world I was a part of before having children. Funny thing is, I'm not sure I ever could have done it without my babes. There's something about these kids that has made me far braver than I ever was before. They arrived into our lives full of hope and joy; free from anxiety and fear. Their natural 'let's do this!!!' attitude has been like a rotor all these years. As a mother I truly understand now why the Lord has used children as examples in so many of His teachings. Psalm 8:2 says 'Through the praise of children and infants you have established a stronghold against your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger.' Boy have I learned a lot about living from these kids. Enjoying moments together, no matter how small. Tiny moments are all we really need anyways; a look, a smile, a quick hug, a loving exchange. These moments are gifts from Him and surely enough to fuel us a nice long time.
The kids, this depth of love and admiration for my husband, what I've learned about the Lord, even this business - it has all completely blindsided me in the best way possible over these last 7 years. I couldn't have written it better myself. Matt and I are learning that flexibility is worth far more than any planning or preparing we could ever do, because the Lord's plan will be absolutely perfect.
I don't know what this next chapter of life will look like for us but my heart is wide open. I can't tell you how grateful I am for StyleMutt Home and for you, and while I miss the chapter of life we've closed I couldn't be more excited to explore opportunities that have been on hold all these years. I truly never expected this business to turn into something I'd so feel passionately about or that it would build such wonderful relationships with others I've been blessed to be connected with. This is all the Lord's doing, completely. StyleMutt Home has been a generous gift to my heart and one that has blessed me in unimaginable ways during my journey as a Mom.
If you read this whole thing, bless your heart, first of all. But we promise some exciting design related content coming soon! This weekend we'll actually get to shoot one of the E-design projects we worked on this Summer! You guys, it's amazing. It's hunter green walls, custom art, antique pieces and some favorite trends. We can't wait to share it with you friends!
Thank you guys so much for stopping by!